STOP RIGHT THERE!! I'm here to stop a crime in progress and you can thank me for it later!
Now, turn around and put your hands behind your back while I read you your jerk-off warning.
Were you all worked up and ready to go, planning to just rub one out on your own and be done with it? Don't do that! That would be a crime! Technically, it would take care of the immediate horniness but the orgasm would likely be less-than-lackluster and you'd want to do it all over again just looking for that orgasmic high of your youth. Lucky for you, I'm here to take you into custody to keep that from happening while I work you up and work you out!Another ho-hum, run-of-the-mill release is NOT what you need. You know it and *I* know it! Your sad little masturbation routine needs revived and who better to do that than Me, Horny911 Mistress Hunter! I will breathe life into your otherwise hum-drum jerk-off session and send that EEG (excitment element geiger) reading off the charts!
Maybe you just couldn't bear the thought of surfing the same old porn, stroking the same old way, or any of your other "routine" habits and that's why you are here. You recognize you need to get help... and fast! Lucky for you, you found Horny911!
Whether you don't yet realize you need Me or whether you know you do, you will soon see that I am just what the doctor ordered! I will search and discover whatever revs your engine kink-wise, and use it to my advantage; along with my expertise, wits, charm, and other wiles, teasing you and bringing you to the edge of orgasm and pulling you back, over and over again until I decide it's time to experience that earth-shattering explosion you're looking for.
You are in good hands and no longer have to worry about a thing. Now that you're here with me, you can relax and let go now, while I pull the strings.
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Your eyes twitch and sweat pools along your brow. The nagging sensation from your crotch ratchets up its pulsating intensity, and you feel yourself breaking out in goosebumps. It’s both too hot and yet too cold, too much and not nearly enough. Why does it seem this intense urgency to masturbate only hits you at the most inopportune moments? You are craving sweet release and relief. When was the last time you even got to cum?
Clearly, it’s been too long to even count back to that point. Your head’s all muddled and you miss the feel of the glorious buildup of pleasure. It’s been so stressful trying to figure out why suddenly your own body seems to be in full mutiny mode. You just cannot bring yourself the orgasm you crave. If only you could find a release valve for the tension that is coiling through your cock and ricocheting throughout your fraying nervous system.
You stare at the clock, and your bleary, bloodshot eyes see it’s only 3 am! The idea of trying to go out and attempting to find someone to ease your pain is too tedious and arduous for your sleep-deprived mind.
Why can’t you seem to get yourself off? Maybe because it has been so long since you had a chance to, that now you need a little extra something to aid you in your erotic emergency. Stress, insomnia, and adrenaline-overload can make for a compounding powder keg that keeps bottle-necking up before it can properly blast off and give you the pleasure you need which only makes you even more anxious and unable to achieve orgasmic release in a self-perpetuating cycle of dissatisfaction.
If only there was someone you could call from the comfort of your own bed and talk to, someone to help you ease the ache and soothe over all the disordered and endless urges coursing through your balls and shaft. That’s just what you need; a sensual voice to guide you through some simple yet effective jerk off instructions. Is that even possible at this forsaken hour? The wee hours of the early AM can feel like they exist outside of time; technically morning but still dark and dreary with what seems like an endless span before even the hint of the sun rising.
That’s when you get a jolt of clarity cutting through the shroud of brain fog befuddling your senses. There is an easy answer, a way to quench your desperation. Your urgent erotic emergency will be taken seriously and you can find what you need at Horny 911.
That’s right, at Horny 911, our team of highly-skilled and well-trained orgasm experts specialize in helping you in your most tortuous moments of need. We heed the call at times like this wherein you need a little extra assistance to quell the disquiet of your libidinous desires. Whether you are under distress from self-imposed chastity, need a sexy Femdom Mistress to be a donor for your boner with her medicinal ministrations of sensual and/or strict domination, or if you just find yourself too worn-out, stressed and tense to focus, we are here for you.