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This is the horny police. Take your hand off your dick and come out with your hands up. You've been beating that dick like it stole something for way too long without supervision. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you into custody and bring you into horny jail for processing. You will be strip searched and your file will be updated as you are a repeat offender who chronically masturbates without permission. During your stay in your horny cell, you will be trained in the fine art of Ebony Femdom edging, and guided masturbation.

I know it is very difficult for you, sometimes you get so turned on and there's no one around to milk your cock for you, so you turn to porn and your own devices to get relief. Only to discover that making yourself cum is not as fun as having someone command your every move. I'm here to help you avoid making bad decisions, by ensuring you only make those decisions with me. When you have a dick emergency, help is just a phone call away.

Specializing in roleplaying, guided meditation, gooning masturbation, JOI (jerk off instructions), and guided cock edging. Delaying your orgasm and focusing on sensation play will heighten your experience, and it's much better than jerking off alone. See? Being in horny jail isn't such a bad thing. I should also mention that since I do love dirty roleplays, we could always spin a "jail" fantasy where I'm the warden and I decide to make you my prison bitch. Good cop, bad cop interrogation is also a great jerkoff roleplay idea.

Of course, if you're reading this, there is the chance that you're horny right now and just want to get off. So if a quickie with the porn guardian is what you need, pencil in some time to have a JOI break with The Duchess. I have a lot of ideas, and I'd love to help your cock. And if you want me to frisk and handcuff you, we can do that, too.


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Are you horny and in need of a Masturbatrix?

Horny911 has you covered!


**Calls are $2.99  per minute, minimum of 10 minutes billed to your credit card** – 18+


Intense Urgency Can Feel Like an Emergency


Your eyes twitch and sweat pools along your brow. The nagging sensation from your crotch ratchets up its pulsating intensity, and you feel yourself breaking out in goosebumps. It’s both too hot and yet too cold, too much and not nearly enough. Why does it seem this intense urgency to masturbate only hits you at the most inopportune moments? You are craving sweet release and relief. When was the last time you even got to cum?

Clearly, it’s been too long to even count back to that point. Your head’s all muddled and you miss the feel of the glorious buildup of pleasure. It’s been so stressful trying to figure out why suddenly your own body seems to be in full mutiny mode. You just cannot bring yourself the orgasm you crave. If only you could find a release valve for the tension that is coiling through your cock and ricocheting throughout your fraying nervous system.

You stare at the clock, and your bleary, bloodshot eyes see it’s only 3 am! The idea of trying to go out and attempting to find someone to ease your pain is too tedious and arduous for your sleep-deprived mind.

Why can’t you seem to get yourself off? Maybe because it has been so long since you had a chance to, that now you need a little extra something to aid you in your erotic emergency. Stress, insomnia, and adrenaline-overload can make for a compounding powder keg that keeps bottle-necking up before it can properly blast off and give you the pleasure you need which only makes you even more anxious and unable to achieve orgasmic release in a self-perpetuating cycle of dissatisfaction.


Someone to Call


If only there was someone you could call from the comfort of your own bed and talk to, someone to help you ease the ache and soothe over all the disordered and endless urges coursing through your balls and shaft. That’s just what you need; a sensual voice to guide you through some simple yet effective jerk off  instructions. Is that even possible at this forsaken hour? The wee hours of the early AM can feel like they exist outside of time; technically morning but still dark and dreary with what seems like an endless span before even the hint of the sun rising.

That’s when you get a jolt of clarity cutting through the shroud of brain fog befuddling your senses. There is an easy answer, a way to quench your desperation. Your urgent erotic emergency will be taken seriously and you can find what you need at Horny 911.


Boner Donors and Erotic Emergency Experts


That’s right, at Horny 911, our team of highly-skilled and well-trained orgasm experts specialize in helping you in your most tortuous moments of need. We heed the call at times like this wherein you need a little extra assistance to quell the disquiet of your libidinous desires. Whether you are under distress from self-imposed chastity, need a sexy Femdom Mistress to be a donor for your boner with her medicinal ministrations of sensual and/or strict domination, or if you just find yourself too worn-out, stressed and tense to focus, we are here for you.